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Ajit Nathaniel
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This Email was sent from a mobile device. Brevity is the price of this convenience, so pardon me for not being my usual verbose self! :)

nutrinugget salad

nutrinugget salad:
An open handful of nutrinuggets
One medium sized onion
Two tomatoes
The juice of two lemons
three green chillies
Salt to taste

Soak nuggets in boiling water still soft, squeeze out and set aside.
Chop onions as fine as comfort would permit, chop chillies fine, mix chopped onion and chillies together with the lemon juice: Set aside.

Sprinkle salt as per taste on the nutrinuggets- a little extra may be wise.

Chop tomatoes fine *this is important* with a very sharp knife.
Combine Tomatoes and Nutrinuggets and toss.

Add the onion/chillies mix: et voila!

The Hip Hop Recession

"Cash, Money, Cars, Clothes
This is how true ballers roll
Sitting on thangs, thugged-out chains
Coppin' them whips, Stacking them chips"

-Ruff Endz (Cash, Money, Cars: 2001)

I missed out quite a bit on the nightclub scene in my younger years- not that I regret it, I spent much of that time bolstering my microscopic social life by cracking articulate but filthy jokes in quieter surroundings- to the gentle clinking of wine glasses and chamber music. Hip Hop to me, for a long time was an expression of lavishness, with many of the videos showing young men driving USD 100,000+ automobiles, doing the most grotesque things imaginable with champagne, and wearing jewellery that would make any metal detector at an airport pop up in big letters on its display "You've got to be fucking kidding me"!

I always felt that entertainment and religion were two industries that were somewhat disconnected from the mainstream economy. That when things went bad, people still needed to be entertained and people still needed God... ok... perhaps alcohol, entertainment, and religion.

Imagine my surprise the other afternoon when I heard the words: "I don't need the cheese or the car keys, boy I like you just the way you are" I peeled my ears and listened hard- yes there it went again: "Baby its alright now you ain't gotta floss for me". I'm given to understand that "flossing" in the hip hop context has little to do with dental hygiene and more to do with a show of prosperity. I got my hands on the music video to study this very different song. I plead the Fifth Amendment on divulging the source of this video.

The video itself is interesting, and consists largely of a group of young men in white shirts and ties (laid off stockbrokers entertaining themselves?) kicking around a soccer ball in a damp tunnel. There is no sign at all of all the trappings of Hip Hop wealth- no jets, no luxury cars, no jewellery, and absolutely no strippers. A very pretty Keri Hilson explains her point of view. The music is set to a sort of souped up retro disco beat with lots of electronics, but it is still hip hop! And wait, we haven't even started with the man's words yet!

"I ain't got no money, I ain't got no car to take you on a date, I can't even buy you flowers, (is that a boast?) but together we can be the perfect soulmates"! Soulmates?! Soulmates??? Whatever happened to The Dream and "Now I got her talking like this, in a falsetto, she like ooh ooh baby aah aah aah". Wow! No more "moving keys" or "making Gs" and "car keys"... Has the recession hit Hip Hop?

Being broke has become attractive, finally! Does anybody have Keri Hilson's phone number?
Ajit Nathaniel
Dec 2008

Precious Cargo

I passed this vehicle on my way to work today. As you can see, it is jam-packed with kids. This is not some Soccer Mom's SUV, it is a lightweight, coke-can style vehicle with (hold your breath) an 800 cc engine! Judging from all the metal refinishing, this guy sure is a very careful driver!

2007 Nobel Prize for Physics

And the Nobel Prize for physics goes to…

TA DA!!!

Two cutlets who invented the technology that makes hard drives smaller.

Wait a second…

Did I hear that right?

The Nobel Prize for physics goes to the guys who invented the technology that makes hard drives smaller for Mp3 players and the like? Oh yeah… now I know this world really has its priorities right- the greatest honour in physics goes to people who can ensure that you can wear a 300 GB Ipod up the arse without significant discomfort.

The last people who were given this award had done pioneering work to enhance our understanding of the universe and its origins.

With an Ipod on, a jogger cannot even hear the car coming up behind him that is going to run him down in 3 fucking seconds… forget about exploring the universe!

Imported Crackery

What an apt name for a shop selling crockery!

Shelfari.com

I just came across a pretty good website: Shelfari.com. (Thanks Mark)

This is a website that lets one create an online catalogue of of books, and lets you talk to other members- sort of an Orkut for Bibliophiles! Definitely worth a visit!

Bad Hair Day and Love Lost.

“Assumption is the mother of all Fuckups” - Travis Dane, Under Siege 2. Put it in context yourselves.

I was at a wedding this weekend. The wedding itself was a splendid event that merits a separate piece to describe it with any justice at all.

There was this girl at the wedding from the bride’s side- I never really noticed her at first, she was pleasant looking and carried herself well, but she did spend a lot of time beside the bride and groom who were my focus at that point, so I began to notice some subtle things about her. For example, when she laughed, she narrowed her eyes, and her eyelids would flutter ever so gently like a puppy’s when you raise your hand to slap it playfully.

I’m not really one of the “love at first sight” type, but this dusky maiden had definitely piqued my interest. That night as the groom and I spent a few minutes walking back and forth in the courtyard of the wedding hall, the topic happened to come up.

“She’s an architect”.

“Ah”.

I had to draw upon uncommon reserve to keep myself from yelping in delight.

The World’s Sexiest Professions According to Ajit Nathaniel

1) Archaeologist (The Indiana Jones: Fedora, Whip and Revolver Brand only. Academics? FO)

2) Architect (Just the right mix of adventure, intellect and aestheticism- do you still wonder why Howard Roark of “The Fountainhead” is an Architect?)

3) The French Foreign Legion (TESTOSTERONE, French, Anonymity and a drinking song, “le boudin” as a life anthem)

4) To hell with this… I’ve made my point.

I saw her then, standing at the edge of the top floor of a skyscraper… her hair, despite the strong wind, billowing gently like seaweed in calm waters… looking down disdainfully at an urban sprawl of mediocre erections lacking inspiration, art and soul- save that on which she stood. SEAWEED??? YECHHH! OK… you get the idea… forget the smell and the sliminess… just focus on the image, eh?

Ok, so she’s standing atop her building, and she has an eyebrow raised in condescending contempt, if there is such a thing.

Ajit Nathaniel’s Favourite Architects:

1) Frank Lloyd Wright

2) IM Pei

3) The chaps that designed the Parthenon

4) The chaps that designed the Stonehenge

Bottomline: This dusky damsel was a part of the great mystical adventure in human civilization that began in prehistory with places like the Stonehenge, endured through the Middle Ages in the guilds of masons that designed and built Europe’s fine cathedrals, the folks who created India’s lovely temples and prevails today thanks to the fine ladies and gentlemen at establishments of repute such as SOM and PCF&P

Revised Top Three Favourite Architects

1) Dusky Damsel (Obviously)

2) Frank Lloyd Wright (He’s dead and Fallingwater has structural and leakage problems)

3) IM Pei (DD is way way cuter than him)

The day of the wedding, I dressed myself in the traditional whites and did my hair. I used Garnier Fructus Extreme Hold hair gel to keep my unruly mop contained for what would be a long day.

I stepped towards the door of the hall. The moment I placed my hand on the doorknob, my hair exploded in a fruity smelling cloud.

Almonard FUCKING air curtain… a contraption above the door that blows air downwards with the force of the twin Tumansky jet engines used to power one of the enormously popular MiG series of aeroplanes.

Needless to say, as the gel hardened, I began to look more and more like Medusa the Gorgon. Note to self: get hair straightened

At the lunch, the bride reminded me of her words of wisdom from weeks before.

“If you want to impress any of the girls there make sure you look your best”

I hadn’t counted on Almonard air curtains.

It seemed that there would be no discussing the aesthetics of modern design over a bottle of red wine (among other things) no languid lounging on a Sunday afternoon...

A few minutes later, DD breezed past me, out of the door, and probably out of my life.

The Nagging Twenty Dollars

A friend recently told me the story of a person who has twenty dollars he didn’t know what to do with. My friend gave him some good advice and I’m sure that person would not regret his decision if he took it.

Today I went for a walk- a really long one. Those of you who are familiar with my weekend marches will know what I’m talking about. These long solo marches give me the opportunity to think and reflect, and amid thoughts of Greta Garbo’s eyes and Milla Jovovich’s figure, the extra USD 20 kept popping into my mind. One thing led to another, and I began to wonder how anybody could be in that position. I formulated a hypothetical hierarchy of personal finance priorities.

First: Bare essentials.

Food, shelter and comfortable clothing, (if you’re a lady, torture devices like high heels come into this category). Indulge- food is not about getting energy to keep all the departments working, but eating well can also be a very sensuous experience. For those of you living in south India, walk into a vegetarian restaurant and order one of those meals where they give you 8 little bowls of various curries, vegetables and lentils along with steamed rice. Switch off the damn cellular phone and focus on your food for just 40 minutes- bite by bite. You’ll know what I’m talking about. The bill? Between 50 cents and a dollar and a half depending on the place you visit.

Second: Charity.

Ok… Stop hissing- and you- between Mother and Teresa is no place for an expletive. But yes, for a person who has enough to survive, altruistic giving can be a very fulfilling experience. Key principle here: Give a man a fish, and he’ll eat for a day. Teach him to fish, and he’ll eat for a lifetime. Invest in a cause. Alms are just a waste of money.

Third: Investments.

It has been only recently that I discovered the merits of a well designed financial plan with goals. There is great joy in watching the financial fruit of one’s labour grow by itself. Key principle: Little drops of water make the mighty ocean.

Fourth: Vices.

Vices are good for the soul if kept under control.

Fifth: Excesses.

The Cessna Citation X, a dead shark in formaldehyde, the ludicrous Bugatti Veyron that makes no ecological sense etc.

Well… this sounds too preachy- but to the guy who has USD 20 that he doesn’t know what to do with, here’s an idea- call a friend you haven’t seen in years and buy him a beer.

Forrest's mum was wrong

Life is not like a box of Chocolates.

Life is like a box of explosives. If you er... mess up, lots of other people get hurt too.

This Section Will be Available Soon Inshallah

That's what the State Bank of Pakistan, the nation's central bank, says on its "About the Bank" page. Roughly translated, it means "This section will be available soon, Allah willing". Imagine how easy it would be to run that economy on the same lines?

-Inflation will come below 200% Allah willing

-Unemployment will decline, Allah willing

-Foreign Investment will increase, allah willing...

Wow... must had it to these guys, they have us beat in the Faith department. Leaving something that can be handled by a lowly web-designer to Allah himself! Maybe once he has enough of the Disaster movie he's watching in Iraq, he'd get down to the more serious stuff.

The Hubble Telescope Cover-Up.

There are Aliens in space ready to attack us. Till today, the Hubble Telescope kept an eye on them. As soon as they made an aggressive move, the Hubble Telescope picked it up and the MIBO (Men In Black Organization) scrambled a Fast Action Response Team (FART) to deal with the situation. Seeing signs of aggression on earth, the aliens would call off the attack.

After many years, they decided it would be good to have one of their kind on earth. So one day when Dubya was mountain biking, one of them got in through his ear and took control of his brain.

The aliens planned another attack.

This time, as soon as the secret brief reached the Oval Office, President Bush informed the Aliens. The aliens asked him to ascertain the source of the intelligence. The president checked with Tom Ridge and told the aliens that they were getting it from “Hubble”. Dubya then hired Gary Busey and Vhing Rhames to reprise their roles as mercenaries from Lethal Weapon 1 and Die Hard 2 respectively. He told them to find “Hubble” and kill him.

Vhing reported that Hubble had died in California many years ago, and that Gary Busey headed South faster than a speeding bullet after he met some guy who told him that the company that made Coke was headquartered in Atlanta.

Bush called for Tom Ridge, only to learn that Hubble wasn’t a man, but a telescope. He then sent Vhing Rhames to find the Hubble Telescopes Company and blow it up. Vhing couldn’t find one in the US, but he was able to learn about the Hub’al T'el'escope factory in Iraq.

President Bush then launched a full military offensive against Iraq.

After they found and destroyed the Hub’al telescope factory, the aliens tried again, with a predictable result.

Dubya fired Tom Ridge and hired Michael Chertoff, who told him that the Hubble Telescope was up in space. Traitor Bush informed the aliens that the Hubble Telescope was actually in space, but it really wasn't his fault you see, the aliens had got control of his brain.

At the first opportunity, an Alien advance party buzzed the Hubble Space Telescope and stuck Chewing Gum on the lens. If you don’t believe me, look at this link.

http://www.voanews.com/english/2007-01-30-voa3.cfm

The power supply story is just a cover up- though the PS could have been damaged by the flyby if it was a Dell power-supply... but you have to be on Acid to put a Dell power-supply in a multi-million dollar space telescope... as a matter of fact, you have to be on Acid to put a Dell power-supply in anything... Hell... you have to be on Acid to buy a Dell power-supply or anything with one in it!.


We are now completely at risk. The aliens may attack any day.

Unreality TV.

An Indian movie star cries “hate crime” over her treatment in a UK reality television show- that’s all that seems to be in the newspapers these days. Some have suggested that this situation has affected the Indo-UK relationship that has been the epitome of mutual respect, understanding and trust for at least the last 350 years.

Here’s my take on reality TV.

It is a form of entertainment for people without a brain- people who lack the abilities to take risks with nature, relationships, achievement or service. It is a voyeuristic pastime akin to a preference for violent pornography.

It is a testament to a crumbling civilization that people would detach themselves from their own reality for a slice of something supposedly real.

It started with the soap operas, where women who live a mundane existence got addicted to serials that depicted remarkable life stories. Now, with soap operas and sitcoms being seen as old fashioned, reality TV has become the face of New-Age voyeurism.

To people who are addicted to these serials, I’d just say… go out and get a life. Climb a mountain, write a book or jump off a 200 foot crane with a rubber band tied to your ankles. There is so much more to life, and if you’re bold enough, life can be so much more interesting.

To the people working on those serials:
You’re people the fine Dr. Josef Mengele would be proud to oversee. Praise be to you. Yes, WWF is for real, and the moon is made of cheese.

To the producers of reality shows:
Great jobs guys!! What a way to sucker an entire population- why don’t we replace all TV programming with reality TV? Maybe we could have "Big Warden" live from Iraq - a reality show about life of inmates in Abu Gharaib.


I know you can get there!

Gianni Schicchi

I loved this opera from the first time that I heard it. It's one of the rare light hearted classical opera. It's about this guy who has a post-doctorate in bullshit.

This opera piqued my interest further when i noticed a mention to him in Dante's Inferno.

The Past few days, I've been reading aloud the italian version of Inferno, and have found the lines quoted by one of my heroes, Dr. Hannibal Lecter, MD.

His daughter is in love with a nephew of a really rich scoundrel who is on his deathbed. The old geezer dies and wills his wealth to a monastery to buy salvation. When his daughter threates to hurl herself intothe Arno if she cannot marry the man she loves, he takes charge and impersonates the dead man to dictate a new will that leaves everything to HIMSELF!

A Law in Firenze (Florence) calls for forgers and their accomplices to have a hand cut off and banished forever. This keeps the "grieving" relatives quiet while he does his stuff.

This is one of the Opera I would pay USD 460 to watch from the Grand Tier of the Met. The suit is USD 500 extra, but it would be worth it!!


Puccini at his best!!!

For more Info,

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gianni_Schicchi

Blind Faith/Wedding at Cana

A few days ago, I came across the following post on a site that I visit once in a while.

2007 revelation
2007 REVELATION

INDIA

• The Spirit of God will be poured out mightily in India (every nook and corner)
• It’s a year of revival for christians
• Many Open air meetings will be conducted through that gospel will be spread mightily
• New diseases will spring up in India and Tamilnadu and no treatment will be there
• Blood shed will be more and it will flow like rivers in many areas of India
• There will be a lot of suicides and deaths
• Many spiritual giants will backslide from their faith
• Many places will be destroyed by volcanoes and earthquakes
• Chosen Christian people will backslide and follow the world
• Rapes, immorality and murders will be seen many in number
• Financial crisis will be seen in India
• Fire accidents will be more
• Train & flight accidents will happen in many in number
• Terrorists attack with viral weapons to spread innumerable diseases

TAMILNADU

1. Many spiritual giants will die this year, their time has come and god will raise new giants among the people.
2. grace period is going to end
3. mercy will decrease
4. many miracles will happen among the Gentile people
5. church believers will have a life changing ministry


This revelation is given by a mighty man of God on 29.12.2006. we are forwarding you to pray for these things so that god can calm down and show favor to his people. For more clear details call us / mail us.

MAY THE LORDS NAME BE GLORIFIED………………..


Not bad for a prophecy, problem is, it is very vague. This is rather like the cold-reading that psychics use. In fact, if you apply the same predictions to Last year or the year before that, you will find that you can find one event that can be made to fit all these "predictions"! I wonder why people need to make these predictions of vague and sweeping disaster unlike the predictions found in the Bible that are very specific? What do these Doomsayers want to achieve?

Here is my Answer to this post:

You know, I have a serious problem with people who proclaim themselves as prophets today. The prophets of the OT has very specific predictions that came true, and your "prophet" seems to have generalizations that are not very specific. In the same vein, let me try some prophecies of my own. Please remember these and tell me if they come true by the end of this year.

1) Parts of the USA will be ravaged by hurricanes this year.

2) Disease and War will kill hundreds of thousands in Africa.

3) Poverty and Bad weather will kill scores in Russia.

4) some leaders of violent movements in the world will be killed.

5) Atleast one world leader/prominent statesman will die.

6) Parts of India will be hit by drought and many people will suffer the deepest misery.

7) The land of Israel will face many tests and tribulations.

I could go on and on like this, and I'm sure you will find that each and every one of these predictions WILL come true, because these are vague, and unspecific, and could be applied to a variety of situations.

Remember, in the OT, the coming of great prophets is foretold, and the prophets were there to foretell the coming of Christ. After the first coming, there is no prophecy foretelling the coming of any great prophet. So please, do not be misled by the passion of faith, but devote some time to the Study of God's word, and ensure that your soul is prepared to meet him at Judgment day.


I've been at loggerheads with these so called "true believers" since forever! The intolerance of certain classes of these people is appalling, even today. I've had people pass judgment on my "celestial destiny" at the drop of the hat- haven't these people read that as believers, they are not the judge? Some of these guys need to just relax... open a bottle of beer... and... oh I forgot... the consumption of alcohol is a sin! Yeah... Jesus turned the water to Gatorade at the wedding at Cana, right?

21st Century Hypocrisy

Several years ago, I’d ghost-written an analysis of Shashi Deshpande’s books. When I first took it up, it was because I needed the money, but as I read on, it began to make me very unsure of a lot of things in my life. Her books though are fiction, cut to the bone. They deal with subjects like rape within marriage, domestic violence, and abuse from the point of view of the woman. I realized that a lot of literature is actually male centric, and waters down the woman’s point of view. I began to see the patterns of some of her characters in the world around me. I admit that I could have been imagining things, but many things seemed to fit in place perfectly- being in the conservative South, I began to see even cities like Bangalore wearing nothing but a veneer of liberalism. It was only a few days ago that this struck really close to home.

I was talking with a friend whom I had met after a long time. For a while we had the usual guy-talk, and then the topics turned to ones more common among those his age, relationships, marriage, etc. Now, I do consider myself to be a practicing Christian, but my Christian perspective to life is limited to my and only my life- so much so that that some of my expat associates joke about me being a closet Jew. We had started out debating over arranged and love marriages. I intend to marry late, and I told him that a late marriage for love would be better than an early arranged marriage, considering that financial security and emotional maturity would make it easier for two people to get along. He then started to interrogate me on the qualities that I wanted in my future mate (I’m sorry ladies- :) that is beyond the scope of this article). Soon after I was done, he asked me a question that made me want to howl with laughter:

“Will you insist that your wife be a virgin before marriage?”

Now I’ve heard that hypocrites like this exist, but I never thought I’d find one in my drawing room, drinking my beer.

When I answered in the negative, stating that I would only ask for fidelity from the wedding day forward, he launched into a harangue about me being “trapped” by the BPO lifestyle (The Indian media has portrayed the BPO sector as a hotbed of sex, drugs and other vices- that’s another rant). After chastising him for falling prey to media sensationalism, I shot the question back at him. He replied in the affirmative.

This conversation had now begun to sicken me.

This is a person with a reasonably colourful past. Oft have I sat, listening to him detail his sordid escapades, detail by grimy detail, while just wishing that some kind soul would dash to my bathroom cabinet, grab my straight razor and slit my throat! And yes, you know that someone’s really lost it when they think that “paid service” is something to be proud about! And you know that they’re really ‘round the bend when they think that it’s something extraordinary, like climbing Everest! So considering his history, he effectively disqualifies himself from being suitable to marry by his own standards!

Unfortunately, this appears to be the state of most of the men in this country, some go to fine engineering schools, get jobs working for large multinational corporations, watch HBO and CNN, but still hold these old misogynistic values!

I can understand a celibate demanding such a condition. It is acceptable for one to ask for a mate with similar views on subjects that form the core of a marriage, like sex, household finance, children etc, but with something like this where a different moral standard applies to the person you share your life with, it fails to constitute a marriage, and begins to be a master-slave relationship.

Wait, there’s more.

And in some cases, the people responsible for this are the women themselves! Though we live in an economy where a college degree is nearly a guarantee of employment, and good communication skills and a professional qualification is a speedway to the Good Life, lots of women fail to break free of the bonds and willingly submit themselves to this abuse. I’ve known many cases of women giving up careers and promising relationships to enter this obsolete, misogynistic, and often abusive system. They refuse to take responsibility for their own lives. The worst part is that they look down on those who do.

In India, women are smarter than men! It’s true! If you look at the statistics for the past several years, the mean marks scored by female students in high school are several percent higher than male students. Maybe it’s about time we saw a little less whining and a little more moxie.

We have a legal system that guarantees the right to free will after the age of 18 to any citizen of this country. We also have legislation that protects women from violent family members. “Men are the breadwinners” and “Men are physically stronger than us” are no longer valid excuses. What Indian women need to do is drop the persona of the mute sacrificial lamb and change the system. It is happening, but not fast enough.

And as for my “friend”, I wish he gets married to a hopeless prude who will nag him to suicide.

Indian Manned Space Mission

India wants to put a man on the moon. It is an ambitious project that will push the country’s technology and scientific think tanks to their limits and beyond. Above all, it is a tremendous financial commitment that the country can ill-afford.

The US put a man on the moon- but to put it in context, it was an all out penis waving competition between the Russians and the Americans. The Russians were the first to put man into outer space. JFK, one of the more prominent penises of the century (literally) retaliated with his goal of "landing a man on the moon and returning him safely to the Earth". This “mine is bigger than yours” competition was the backbone of the Cold War, the Arms Race, and the Star Wars (Strategic Defense Initiative) program.

A country of over a billion people with a major proportion of those living on under a dollar a day can ill afford a program that will have a limited contribution to scientific know-how. The lunar mission is a hole in space that we would be putting taxpayers’ money into. The money spent on the program could bet better utilized building systems that won’t crash into the sea because of a motor malfunction. even the "ambitious" LCA project went far beyond predicted cost and time allotments- what could be in store with this "ambitious" project?

I don’t intend to belittle our space program- it has over the years revolutionized Telecommunications and Remote Sensing (spying). But to join a “mine is as big as yours” chorus 51 years after the first man walked on the moon is stupid enthusiasm. The country has under-funded healthcare, social security and defence budgets. The money that would be put into that hole in space would be better invested in revenue generating telecommunications satellites or dismantling an SU 30 and learning to build it at home.