Bad Hair Day and Love Lost.

“Assumption is the mother of all Fuckups” - Travis Dane, Under Siege 2. Put it in context yourselves.

I was at a wedding this weekend. The wedding itself was a splendid event that merits a separate piece to describe it with any justice at all.

There was this girl at the wedding from the bride’s side- I never really noticed her at first, she was pleasant looking and carried herself well, but she did spend a lot of time beside the bride and groom who were my focus at that point, so I began to notice some subtle things about her. For example, when she laughed, she narrowed her eyes, and her eyelids would flutter ever so gently like a puppy’s when you raise your hand to slap it playfully.

I’m not really one of the “love at first sight” type, but this dusky maiden had definitely piqued my interest. That night as the groom and I spent a few minutes walking back and forth in the courtyard of the wedding hall, the topic happened to come up.

“She’s an architect”.

“Ah”.

I had to draw upon uncommon reserve to keep myself from yelping in delight.

The World’s Sexiest Professions According to Ajit Nathaniel

1) Archaeologist (The Indiana Jones: Fedora, Whip and Revolver Brand only. Academics? FO)

2) Architect (Just the right mix of adventure, intellect and aestheticism- do you still wonder why Howard Roark of “The Fountainhead” is an Architect?)

3) The French Foreign Legion (TESTOSTERONE, French, Anonymity and a drinking song, “le boudin” as a life anthem)

4) To hell with this… I’ve made my point.

I saw her then, standing at the edge of the top floor of a skyscraper… her hair, despite the strong wind, billowing gently like seaweed in calm waters… looking down disdainfully at an urban sprawl of mediocre erections lacking inspiration, art and soul- save that on which she stood. SEAWEED??? YECHHH! OK… you get the idea… forget the smell and the sliminess… just focus on the image, eh?

Ok, so she’s standing atop her building, and she has an eyebrow raised in condescending contempt, if there is such a thing.

Ajit Nathaniel’s Favourite Architects:

1) Frank Lloyd Wright

2) IM Pei

3) The chaps that designed the Parthenon

4) The chaps that designed the Stonehenge

Bottomline: This dusky damsel was a part of the great mystical adventure in human civilization that began in prehistory with places like the Stonehenge, endured through the Middle Ages in the guilds of masons that designed and built Europe’s fine cathedrals, the folks who created India’s lovely temples and prevails today thanks to the fine ladies and gentlemen at establishments of repute such as SOM and PCF&P

Revised Top Three Favourite Architects

1) Dusky Damsel (Obviously)

2) Frank Lloyd Wright (He’s dead and Fallingwater has structural and leakage problems)

3) IM Pei (DD is way way cuter than him)

The day of the wedding, I dressed myself in the traditional whites and did my hair. I used Garnier Fructus Extreme Hold hair gel to keep my unruly mop contained for what would be a long day.

I stepped towards the door of the hall. The moment I placed my hand on the doorknob, my hair exploded in a fruity smelling cloud.

Almonard FUCKING air curtain… a contraption above the door that blows air downwards with the force of the twin Tumansky jet engines used to power one of the enormously popular MiG series of aeroplanes.

Needless to say, as the gel hardened, I began to look more and more like Medusa the Gorgon. Note to self: get hair straightened

At the lunch, the bride reminded me of her words of wisdom from weeks before.

“If you want to impress any of the girls there make sure you look your best”

I hadn’t counted on Almonard air curtains.

It seemed that there would be no discussing the aesthetics of modern design over a bottle of red wine (among other things) no languid lounging on a Sunday afternoon...

A few minutes later, DD breezed past me, out of the door, and probably out of my life.