Hand over that bag of chips Mister... Its going to Jail

The Forum Mall in Bangalore has found a way to stop people bringing food into the food court on their premises. Yes! They've decided to prosecute the food that "trespasses"! Certainly food for thought!!

The painting is complete!!!

The painting is complete! Except for some minor re-touching that I'll have to do once its dry.

Back to Colour

Things seem to be changing around here. My interest in some of the finer things in life seems to be returning. I read some Dante this morning and did some painting in the afternoon...

This is what that painting looks like now. I had a dream a few days ago in which I was at home with some of my people from the old days, and this painting was hanging on the wall.


Next project: the lampstands that were on either side of my bed.

Bada Bhaiyya (Big Brother)

The Gestapo is out on the streets... hide your children... Build hiding places under your houses... Especially if you blog!


To all my fellow terrorist bloggers, we're out of luck... this is it... the days when we planned out terrorist attacks on blogs are past. Blogspot and several other blog sites have been blocked by our benevolent and gracious government. We now have to rely on less reliable and less private options like Email, Satellite Phones and verbal messages.

You have seen in the past how I had cleverly concealed the clues to our next hit in the pictures of my pipe, my chilli plant and the calf!

OK guys... back to cleaning my RPG.

NO LOOKING??

There is this lady whose work I have been following for a while. She has run a series of very successful campaigns against eve teasing around the country, but now it seems this "project" is in danger of turning into something ugly under her own zeal.


The banner on her blog says :

NO
Leching
Touching
Staring
Groping
Passing Remarks
Pinching
Stalking

and here's the best part:

NO LOOKING!!

No Looking? Looks like she just put down her Q'uran and picked up a Kalishnikov!

Don't get me wrong here, I support the spirit of her campaign wholeheartedly, in fact, I even observed one of her "interventions" in my city from a discreet distance. I'm all for a world that is safer for everybody. People familiar with my wilder days will remember two incidents where we started trouble over someone violating a lady. I fully support the viewpoint that unwelcome attention and unsolicited physical contact needs to be done away with.


No looking?? that is really taking it very very far. Personally, I like it when people notice that I'm dressed well. I make it a point to complement colleagues on a smart shirt, a nice watch, or for that matter, an exceptionally pretty dress or pair of earrings. I get the impression that people enjoy that, none of my female colleagues filed for sexual harassment just because I looked at her and remarked that she was wearing very pretty ear-rings... I've never detected any sign of discomfort, they always seem to enjoy a complement.

Leching- well, that's another thing people feel violated about. In a sexually repressed society such as ours, it is quite natural as all the men want sex, but most women think it is wrong and dirty. All it takes is a shapely pair of legs or a remarkable bosom, and bang- Bob's your uncle. "Leching" is a part of a very primal instinct that I'll call "Sexual Looking" for this article.

A long time ago, before there were microwaves, refrigerators and motorcars, before religious sanction was placed on our ability to copulate and procreate, things were very easy and life was just like Discovery Channel. Sexual Looking was a way a guy looked at a woman whom he found attractive, saying "I want you" if the woman thought he was attractive too, and really got her juices flowing, they got together and did their thing without a rabbi, priest, or any other spoilsport to declare them incarcerated for life.

But now days, after we've become civilized, that "Sexual Looking" is a sin. Women consider it a violation... and yes... women "lech" too. They have evolved "Sexual Looking" to a very potent weapon. In the days I helped out my friends in a security company providing VIP protection to a guy who was young, rich and handsome, I saw how women would react. Even we, the guys with the suits, PTT headsets and keys to the Mercedes could bask in reflected glory and often get lucky. Yes... women lech too... they lech to the point of salivation, and the men enjoy it. We don't go around saying "Oh my, that gal in the black tank top is staring at me!! She's such a fucking creep yaar!! Oh... I'm so grossed out!!" In fact, if I'm not already with a lady friend, I may actually go over to say hello.

Sexual Looking is here to stay for as long as sex is taboo, and ladies will be offended by it for as long as sex is considered dirty. Until all men can get some every now and then, they will continue to undress you with their eyes, and will continue to have "unclean thoughts" and a wandering eye.

Non-Sexual Looking is critical to normal communication! Suppose I was talking to a lady and I kept looking over her left shoulder as I talked, I'd be considered inconfident or untruthful.

Me being a warm blooded creature, it is almost involuntary that I do a double take when someone attractive walks by, and face it, women do it too. Now, I don't see why a "look", sexual or not, becomes intrusive. Now I know, some of the ladies who read this will go ballistic and I'm gonna have to fear for my life, but the bottom line is that "sexual looking" is a biological urge, and the revulsion to it is a cultural phenomenon.

Groping, taunting, lewd remarks... these are, and must be treated as crimes. But please don't go as far as saying that each time we pass a lady on the street, our eyes must be anchored to the cobblestones. It would be like the story that my grandmother told me about a certain part of India where commoners had to get off the road and look away every time a royal party passed.


Long story short, these people need to cool it.


Blanknoise is working on a new project to display clothing that people were "violated" in, makes sense as it proves that harassment has nothing to do with what you're wearing. All the best to them for that, but maybe they need to wind it down a bit or risk coming across as frigid extremists.

you can check out blanknoise at

http://blanknoiseproject.blogspot.com/

My First Chilli

Well, here it is. I decided to plant some useful plants on my balcony a while ago. earlier I did onions os that I could use the leaves for salad, now I'm doing chillies. this one kinda took me by surprise. I had been waiting for quite some time before the darn thing germinted in the first place... Then had to wait for flowers... that took some time too... now finally, I get my chillies... so if anybody wants an omlette with home grown chillies, the booking is open!

True Love: A reply to all those sentimental Email forwards.

Hi everyone, this is something that I came across a few days ago- a short feature that I wrote when I was at Dell. I wrote it mocking a badly written "sentimental and touching" Email forward... you know, one of those things with an impossible story of love lost and some kind of outlandish metaphor like a bucket of shit or paper cranes... so here goes... the story I wrote is first, followed by the Email that inspired it.

TRUE LOVE PART 2.
THE MOBBCORLEONE-RAY-CAMERON-SPEILBERG-LUCASFILM CONGLOMERATE

PRESENT

A MOBBCORLEONE RAY PRODUCTION
OF

A JIM CAMERON FILM

PRODUCED BY: STEVE SPEILBERG

EXECUTIVE PRODUCER: GEORGE LUCAS

STORY AND SCREENPLAY BY ER... UM...

*End of credits, now to the movie*

There was a guy who was very much in love with a girl. he folded 1000 paper cranes for her. He chartered a mercedes Benz and stuck the cranes on them. he wanted to take her for a long ride and romantic dinner on valentines day. but when the girl saw the amount of paper he had wasted making the cranes, she got upset.
"Do you know how many trees you killed?" She yelled.
"Bu-Bu-but they are made from recy...umphaaargh-haaaowwwwwwwwwwwww -Howwwwww -howwwww-Howoooooooooooooooo!" she had kicked him in the er.. er... below the belt.
So guy limped back to the Benz and drove back to Hertz to return the car and see if they'd return his deposit. The guy at Hertz saw all the cranes stuck to the car and went pink, red, and then purple.

"Hey [CENSORED]!" The Hertz guy screamed. "You [CENSORED CENSORED CENSORED]! What the [C E N S O R E D] did you do to my car?! I'll go crazy getting that stuff off without ruining the paint!"
"Bu-bu-but the glue is water sol... Owww-Owwwwww -Owwwwwwwooooooooooof -Aaaargh" The Hertz guy had kicked him in the er... er... below the belt.

He forfeited his deposit, and had damages charged to his credit card. How much worse could it get? he gingerly placed himself on his motorcycle, and drove home. His father was waiting.
"Hi dad." he said in a voice that was two octaves higher than normal.
"Hi... how was your ride in the Mercedes?"
Guy's blood froze. "Mercedes, Which Mercedes?"
"Think I don't know? You rented a Mercedes from Hertz, and charged it to my Add on card got under the VillageBank Sampoorna Parivar Kard yojana" (For non-hindi speaking public: "Complete Family Card Plan" transalated crudely)

"Bu-bu-but...Owwwwwwwwwwwwwwwaaaaaaaaaarrrrrgh- eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee eeeeooow !" and guy's voice was now five octaves higher than usual (need I say why?).

He finally found his calling in life. He rose to great fame doing imitations of Maria Callas and Barbara Streisand. the highlight of his career was a duet with Toni Braxton on the "Pop Divas of the Millennium" CD.

Boy now lives on a beach in Tahiti with a cat.

Girl married the richest guy in town who turned out to be a miserable wife beater with a very good lawyer. Girl had about five kids, and lives in the same small town, Sometimes she sees boy on TV, like at the oscars, or Grammys, Or at the Golder Globes, or at Cannes, or at the Emmys, or at Grauman's Chinese Theatre, or at the opening on Alain Ducasse's Louis XVI Restaurant or at... I think we're losing the point here, but she sees him with a whole lot of REALLY IMPORTANT BEAUTIFUL AND CELEBRATED FOLK, and she thinks, "what if..."


Just goes to show that Folding paper cranes can help a guy go places, also, Behind every successful man is a woman. (and Hertz managers, and maybe a father)

Morals of the story:
DON'T STICK CRANES ON A MERCEDES BENZ FROM HERTZ OR YOU'LL GET KICKED IN THE ER... ER... BELOW THE BELT.
JUST DON'T WASTE YOUR TIME FOLDING CRANES




The original story is here below.




Read the sto ry , don't ignore it.......

There was once this guy who is very much in love with the girl. This romantic guy folded 1,000 pieces of paper cranes as a gift to the girl. Although, at that time he was just a small fry in his company, his future did not seem too bright, they were very happy together.


Until one day, his girl told him she was going to Paris and will never come back. She also told him that she cannot visualize any future for the both of them,so they went their own ways there and then...


Heartbroken, the guy agreed. But when he regain his confidence, he worked hard day and night, slogging his body and mind just to make something out of himself. Finally with all the hard work and the help of friends, this guy had set up his own company ... You never fail until you stop trying. One rainy day,while this guy was driving,he saw an elderly couple sharing an umbrella in the rain walking to some destination. Even with the umbrella, they were still drenched. It didn't take him long to realize they were his girl's parents. With a heart in getting back at them, he drived slowly beside the couple, wanting them to spot him in his luxury sedan.


He wanted them to know that he wasn't the same anymore, he had his own company, car, condo, etc. He made it! Before the guy can realise, the couple was walking towards a cemetery, and he
got out of his car and followed... and he saw his girl, a photograph of her smiling sweetly as ever at him from her tombstone and he saw his papercranes beside her...

Her parents saw him. He ask them why had this happened. They explained, she did not leave for France at all. She was ill with cancer. She! had believed that he would make it someday, but she did not want to be his obstacle...therefore she had chosen to leavehim.

Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to, doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have She had wanted her parents to put his papercranes beside her, because, if the day comes when fate brings him to her again...he can take some of those back with him...


Once you have loved, you will always love. For what's in your mind may escape but what's in your heart will remain forever.

The guy just wept...The worst way to miss someone is to be sitting right beside them knowing you can't have them ...........hope u understand.

Find time to realize that there is one person who means so much to you, for you might wake up one morning losing that person who you thought meant nothing to you.
KINDNESS Pays !

Nico Tean-Alkaloyd

The ashtray at the smoking zone outside my office... Miss Nico tean-alkaloyd has many many suitors!!

C'est est un pipe

My new Meerschaum pipe. This was presented to me by a neighbour who had bought it from Germany many many years ago. It remained unused for 20 years, and finally found its way into my hands! I really like it!

The Lion of God

Was just thinking about Ariel Sharon. After an Israeli friend of mine introduced me to his military career, I put him up there with Ataturk in the roll of successful soldier politicians (yeah I know what you're saying... a Jew and A Progressive Liberal Turk in the same bracket you forget that lots of Wall Street Jews drive German cars...).

Ariel- "The Lion of God" (of?) Sharon lies in a vegetative state at a time when the path he chose is now the way of people with considerably lesser Khutspe. I can't even imagine what he would do to bring that young boy back home.

Do you see the philosophy of these two nations? The Palestinians send their children into Israel to die and take Jews with them... One Israeli kid gets taken prisoner, and the Palestinians get hellfire missiles up the posterior orifice, and the Prime Minister's office gets blown up (albeit with zero collateral damage)

Wonder what Ariel would have done... Summary execution of the Hamas top-hogs?

Rash driving

This is a sticker on one of the vehicles that service my company. Is it an advertisement?

Mysore Trip

Here are some pics from my Mysore trip. The first is a board at Ranganthittu bird sanctuary, a universal truth that applies to all hobbies.

The second, is a calf who welcomed me at the Chamundi hills temple. I have lots of awesome pics of the trip. I'll put them up on the Longbow Chronicles page when i get the time.