True Love: A reply to all those sentimental Email forwards.
Hi everyone, this is something that I came across a few days ago- a short feature that I wrote when I was at Dell. I wrote it mocking a badly written "sentimental and touching" Email forward... you know, one of those things with an impossible story of love lost and some kind of outlandish metaphor like a bucket of shit or paper cranes... so here goes... the story I wrote is first, followed by the Email that inspired it.
There was a guy who was very much in love with a girl. he folded 1000 paper cranes for her. He chartered a mercedes Benz and stuck the cranes on them. he wanted to take her for a long ride and romantic dinner on valentines day. but when the girl saw the amount of paper he had wasted making the cranes, she got upset.
"Do you know how many trees you killed?" She yelled.
"Bu-Bu-but they are made from recy...umphaaargh-haaaowwwwwwwwwwwww -Howwwwww -howwwww-Howoooooooooooooooo!" she had kicked him in the er.. er... below the belt.
So guy limped back to the Benz and drove back to Hertz to return the car and see if they'd return his deposit. The guy at Hertz saw all the cranes stuck to the car and went pink, red, and then purple.
"Hey [CENSORED]!" The Hertz guy screamed. "You [CENSORED CENSORED CENSORED]! What the [C E N S O R E D] did you do to my car?! I'll go crazy getting that stuff off without ruining the paint!"
"Bu-bu-but the glue is water sol... Owww-Owwwwww -Owwwwwwwooooooooooof -Aaaargh" The Hertz guy had kicked him in the er... er... below the belt.
He forfeited his deposit, and had damages charged to his credit card. How much worse could it get? he gingerly placed himself on his motorcycle, and drove home. His father was waiting.
"Hi dad." he said in a voice that was two octaves higher than normal.
"Hi... how was your ride in the Mercedes?"
Guy's blood froze. "Mercedes, Which Mercedes?"
"Think I don't know? You rented a Mercedes from Hertz, and charged it to my Add on card got under the VillageBank Sampoorna Parivar Kard yojana" (For non-hindi speaking public: "Complete Family Card Plan" transalated crudely)
"Bu-bu-but...Owwwwwwwwwwwwwwwaaaaaaaaaarrrrrgh- eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee eeeeooow !" and guy's voice was now five octaves higher than usual (need I say why?).
He finally found his calling in life. He rose to great fame doing imitations of Maria Callas and Barbara Streisand. the highlight of his career was a duet with Toni Braxton on the "Pop Divas of the Millennium" CD.
Boy now lives on a beach in Tahiti with a cat.
Girl married the richest guy in town who turned out to be a miserable wife beater with a very good lawyer. Girl had about five kids, and lives in the same small town, Sometimes she sees boy on TV, like at the oscars, or Grammys, Or at the Golder Globes, or at Cannes, or at the Emmys, or at Grauman's Chinese Theatre, or at the opening on Alain Ducasse's Louis XVI Restaurant or at... I think we're losing the point here, but she sees him with a whole lot of REALLY IMPORTANT BEAUTIFUL AND CELEBRATED FOLK, and she thinks, "what if..."
Just goes to show that Folding paper cranes can help a guy go places, also, Behind every successful man is a woman. (and Hertz managers, and maybe a father)
Morals of the story:
DON'T STICK CRANES ON A MERCEDES BENZ FROM HERTZ OR YOU'LL GET KICKED IN THE ER... ER... BELOW THE BELT.
JUST DON'T WASTE YOUR TIME FOLDING CRANES
The original story is here below.
Read the sto ry , don't ignore it.......
There was once this guy who is very much in love with the girl. This romantic guy folded 1,000 pieces of paper cranes as a gift to the girl. Although, at that time he was just a small fry in his company, his future did not seem too bright, they were very happy together.
Until one day, his girl told him she was going to Paris and will never come back. She also told him that she cannot visualize any future for the both of them,so they went their own ways there and then...
Heartbroken, the guy agreed. But when he regain his confidence, he worked hard day and night, slogging his body and mind just to make something out of himself. Finally with all the hard work and the help of friends, this guy had set up his own company ... You never fail until you stop trying. One rainy day,while this guy was driving,he saw an elderly couple sharing an umbrella in the rain walking to some destination. Even with the umbrella, they were still drenched. It didn't take him long to realize they were his girl's parents. With a heart in getting back at them, he drived slowly beside the couple, wanting them to spot him in his luxury sedan.
He wanted them to know that he wasn't the same anymore, he had his own company, car, condo, etc. He made it! Before the guy can realise, the couple was walking towards a cemetery, and he
got out of his car and followed... and he saw his girl, a photograph of her smiling sweetly as ever at him from her tombstone and he saw his papercranes beside her...
Her parents saw him. He ask them why had this happened. They explained, she did not leave for France at all. She was ill with cancer. She! had believed that he would make it someday, but she did not want to be his obstacle...therefore she had chosen to leavehim.
Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to, doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have She had wanted her parents to put his papercranes beside her, because, if the day comes when fate brings him to her again...he can take some of those back with him...
Once you have loved, you will always love. For what's in your mind may escape but what's in your heart will remain forever.
The guy just wept...The worst way to miss someone is to be sitting right beside them knowing you can't have them ...........hope u understand.
Find time to realize that there is one person who means so much to you, for you might wake up one morning losing that person who you thought meant nothing to you.
KINDNESS Pays !
TRUE LOVE PART 2.
THE MOBBCORLEONE-RAY-CAMERON-SPEILBERG-LUCASFILM CONGLOMERATE
PRESENT
A MOBBCORLEONE RAY PRODUCTION
OF
A JIM CAMERON FILM
PRODUCED BY: STEVE SPEILBERG
EXECUTIVE PRODUCER: GEORGE LUCAS
STORY AND SCREENPLAY BY ER... UM...
*End of credits, now to the movie*
THE MOBBCORLEONE-RAY-CAMERON-SPEILBERG-LUCASFILM CONGLOMERATE
PRESENT
A MOBBCORLEONE RAY PRODUCTION
OF
A JIM CAMERON FILM
PRODUCED BY: STEVE SPEILBERG
EXECUTIVE PRODUCER: GEORGE LUCAS
STORY AND SCREENPLAY BY ER... UM...
*End of credits, now to the movie*
There was a guy who was very much in love with a girl. he folded 1000 paper cranes for her. He chartered a mercedes Benz and stuck the cranes on them. he wanted to take her for a long ride and romantic dinner on valentines day. but when the girl saw the amount of paper he had wasted making the cranes, she got upset.
"Do you know how many trees you killed?" She yelled.
"Bu-Bu-but they are made from recy...umphaaargh-haaaowwwwwwwwwwwww -Howwwwww -howwwww-Howoooooooooooooooo!" she had kicked him in the er.. er... below the belt.
So guy limped back to the Benz and drove back to Hertz to return the car and see if they'd return his deposit. The guy at Hertz saw all the cranes stuck to the car and went pink, red, and then purple.
"Hey [CENSORED]!" The Hertz guy screamed. "You [CENSORED CENSORED CENSORED]! What the [C E N S O R E D] did you do to my car?! I'll go crazy getting that stuff off without ruining the paint!"
"Bu-bu-but the glue is water sol... Owww-Owwwwww -Owwwwwwwooooooooooof -Aaaargh" The Hertz guy had kicked him in the er... er... below the belt.
He forfeited his deposit, and had damages charged to his credit card. How much worse could it get? he gingerly placed himself on his motorcycle, and drove home. His father was waiting.
"Hi dad." he said in a voice that was two octaves higher than normal.
"Hi... how was your ride in the Mercedes?"
Guy's blood froze. "Mercedes, Which Mercedes?"
"Think I don't know? You rented a Mercedes from Hertz, and charged it to my Add on card got under the VillageBank Sampoorna Parivar Kard yojana" (For non-hindi speaking public: "Complete Family Card Plan" transalated crudely)
"Bu-bu-but...Owwwwwwwwwwwwwwwaaaaaaaaaarrrrrgh- eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee eeeeooow !" and guy's voice was now five octaves higher than usual (need I say why?).
He finally found his calling in life. He rose to great fame doing imitations of Maria Callas and Barbara Streisand. the highlight of his career was a duet with Toni Braxton on the "Pop Divas of the Millennium" CD.
Boy now lives on a beach in Tahiti with a cat.
Girl married the richest guy in town who turned out to be a miserable wife beater with a very good lawyer. Girl had about five kids, and lives in the same small town, Sometimes she sees boy on TV, like at the oscars, or Grammys, Or at the Golder Globes, or at Cannes, or at the Emmys, or at Grauman's Chinese Theatre, or at the opening on Alain Ducasse's Louis XVI Restaurant or at... I think we're losing the point here, but she sees him with a whole lot of REALLY IMPORTANT BEAUTIFUL AND CELEBRATED FOLK, and she thinks, "what if..."
Just goes to show that Folding paper cranes can help a guy go places, also, Behind every successful man is a woman. (and Hertz managers, and maybe a father)
Morals of the story:
DON'T STICK CRANES ON A MERCEDES BENZ FROM HERTZ OR YOU'LL GET KICKED IN THE ER... ER... BELOW THE BELT.
JUST DON'T WASTE YOUR TIME FOLDING CRANES
The original story is here below.
Read the sto ry , don't ignore it.......
There was once this guy who is very much in love with the girl. This romantic guy folded 1,000 pieces of paper cranes as a gift to the girl. Although, at that time he was just a small fry in his company, his future did not seem too bright, they were very happy together.
Until one day, his girl told him she was going to Paris and will never come back. She also told him that she cannot visualize any future for the both of them,so they went their own ways there and then...
Heartbroken, the guy agreed. But when he regain his confidence, he worked hard day and night, slogging his body and mind just to make something out of himself. Finally with all the hard work and the help of friends, this guy had set up his own company ... You never fail until you stop trying. One rainy day,while this guy was driving,he saw an elderly couple sharing an umbrella in the rain walking to some destination. Even with the umbrella, they were still drenched. It didn't take him long to realize they were his girl's parents. With a heart in getting back at them, he drived slowly beside the couple, wanting them to spot him in his luxury sedan.
He wanted them to know that he wasn't the same anymore, he had his own company, car, condo, etc. He made it! Before the guy can realise, the couple was walking towards a cemetery, and he
got out of his car and followed... and he saw his girl, a photograph of her smiling sweetly as ever at him from her tombstone and he saw his papercranes beside her...
Her parents saw him. He ask them why had this happened. They explained, she did not leave for France at all. She was ill with cancer. She! had believed that he would make it someday, but she did not want to be his obstacle...therefore she had chosen to leavehim.
Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to, doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have She had wanted her parents to put his papercranes beside her, because, if the day comes when fate brings him to her again...he can take some of those back with him...
Once you have loved, you will always love. For what's in your mind may escape but what's in your heart will remain forever.
The guy just wept...The worst way to miss someone is to be sitting right beside them knowing you can't have them ...........hope u understand.
Find time to realize that there is one person who means so much to you, for you might wake up one morning losing that person who you thought meant nothing to you.
KINDNESS Pays !
posted by Ajit Nathaniel at 9:19 PM
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